Posted by: Suzan | January 21, 2010

Go Within to Find Your True Vocation

“Is the life I am living the same as the life that wants to live in me? Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it – listen for what it intends to do with you,” writes Author and Poet, Parker Palmer, in his book, “Let your Life Speak – Listening for the Voice of Vocation.”

Palmer suggests that searching for your true vocation is not a willful process. Instead it involves deep listening to your heart for truth and core values. It is not a comparison to others or the striving to ‘fit in.’ It is not a goal setting frenzy. It is simply taking the time to go within to hear your calling.

He also recommends becoming a sleuth of your own life. Look for clues from your past and then decode them. What did you want to be as a child? He loved aeronautics and made planes constantly. When young he also wrote many small books about his passion for flight. He mistook this fervor for the need to get into the field of aeronautics. All along his real love had been writing. He’s now a prolific author.

Other places to look include examining your nature. Write a list of what brings you joy and also, what you don’t like (or would not want in an occupation). Reflect on work which has seemed effortless while engaging both your mind and heart. Also ask, what have you been unsuccessful with in past career endeavors? By being honest with your limitations, you can build a better foundation for your life. If you are unwilling to go here, you take the risk of conforming to who you are not which jeopardizes your interest of finding ‘your path of authentic service in the world.’

We must ensure the inner-voice we hear is not the grating ego demanding we continue to pound on the door which has closed in front of us. Palmer implores us to turn around, put the door behind us, and embrace what is now open before us.

Listen to the truth from our souls as if they are wild animals in East Africa. If we want to experience these creatures we must sit still long enough to allow them to emerge from the deep brush. Only then can we experience ‘the precious wildness we seek.’

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Posted by: Suzan | January 13, 2010

Show up and Risk Having Your Dream

“80% of life is just showing up,” says Woody Allen. I believe if we live by this principle, all we risk is having our dreams come true.

As a little girl I performed every television show I watched afterward. In sixth grade I wrote to many production studios, enclosing my latest school photo with shiny braces and straight, stringy hair, asking them what I could do to become an actress.

Walt Disney Productions wrote back, and I rushed to hand the letter to my Mom. She smiled, gave it back to me, and walked away. We lived in Belle Chasse, Louisiana, a suburb of New Orleans, and there weren’t any acting venues described in the letter nearby. I’m sure my Mom could have sacrificed so I could live my dream. All I know is my stay at home Mom preferred to stay at home.

Fast forward to age 50. For so many years my dream has tugged at me like a small child needing solace. I found many outlets like speaking, training and facilitating programs, which I do greatly enjoy, yet I never ventured into the ‘acting world.’

When I turned 50 I decided I’d say YES to life – to overcoming fears; to stepping into new adventures; to fully living the life I am in. So in that vein, I recently ‘showed up’ at an audition for one of San Diego’s community theaters, Looking Glass Theater for the musical, Honk. I also enrolled in an acting class at a local university, UCSD.

I didn’t expect to get a part in the play. I thought it would be a great experience to learn what an audition entailed. I’m not a singer so I decided to go with, “Row, Row, Row, Your Boat” – albeit my own jazzy version which featured snazzy dance moves. Next they handed me a script and asked me to turn to a certain page and read the lines of an ‘obnoxious reporter.’ Although I’m at the stage ‘of not knowing what I don’t know’ as an actress, something boomed from my voice, and I’m not even sure where it came from. It sure did sound like an intolerable reporter.

The director had mentioned she’d call the ones who were ‘in’ on Monday. By 4:45 p.m. I hadn’t heard anything so I let the whole idea go. ‘At least I did it,’ I thought.

Fifteen minutes later I received a call from the director offering me the part of Jay Bird, the obnoxious reporter. At the first rehearsal, I felt such a deep sense of belonging, like I had found my tribe. My childhood dream came to life because I decided to ‘show up’- without any prior acting experience.

Which dream calls to you? If you are willing to ‘show up’ for it – you may just risk having it!

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Posted by: Suzan | January 5, 2010

Pacing Ourselves for the Journey

Last Sunday my Minister, Wendy Craig-Purcell, shared how important it is to make our affirmations for the New Year. Yet more importantly she said, “We must also get off of our aff-irmations to bring them into reality.”

This struck me. We make our affirmations, intentions, goals, however we ‘frame’ them and so often, do not reach the finish line. It resembles the tortoise and hare story. Like the hare we have bold aspirations, begin with a sprint, yet then wear ourselves out and take a nice long nap instead. Sound familiar?

So, how do you pace yourself to last the journey?

•First allow yourself some reflection time to get clear on what you want for your life. Have it be so transparent that you can see a vivid picture of it in your mind.
•Then ask if this is truly what you want (or is it something someone else wants for you). Before you waste any precious energy, understand your true motivation.
•Next check-in with yourself to see if you are willing to do what is required to make it happen. Who do you need to be in each situation to not let any set-backs avert you (because ‘life happens’)?
•When you’re in alignment and willing to proceed, practice connecting your intention to your heart. When you can literally feel the emotion around bringing your vision forth – you are more likely to attain it. It becomes imbedded within you – a part of your cellular structure if you will.
•Finally be more like the tortoise. Stay the course with your determination and desire – not your stopwatch. One step at a time is all you need to take. It doesn’t matter the size of your step. With one foot in front of the other, you will reach the finish line.

**Thank you for visiting my blog. I’m a certified life coach for professional women in transition who want more balance, joy, and expression. For the month of January, I’m offering a tremendous special – please visit my website: http://www.in-motioncoach.com for more information!

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Posted by: Suzan | December 22, 2009

If Not in 2010, then WHEN?

Do you have a dream you long to fulfill? What would it be like for you to create a plan to reach it and to receive the encouragement to make it happen?

So often our dreams remain dreams. We figure ‘some day’ we’ll be motivated enough to go for it. Not now. Later.

My husband, Jim, and me – we had a dream to travel around the world exploring cultures, lands, and creating adventures together. We desired to roam around while our bodies could still do so especially the challenging mountain climbs. We didn’t know when we’d experience this though we had talked about it for more than 10 years.

Years ago I offered women’s monthly inspirational/hiking programs with a different theme each time. One month the theme was ‘Travel Dreams.’ Someone shared her vision to travel the globe with her husband to remote places where she may not be able to venture to later in life. I couldn’t get her dream out of my head. One part of me said, ‘Not now. Your life is so perfect. Wait until it isn’t. Then go.’

I’d landed an ideal part-time contractor position for a non-profit and also ran a successful coaching business. I had the best of two worlds. Jim had a difficult to come by corporate pharmaceutical position. How could we let this all go?

Fortunately another part of me, my quiet, inner-voice piped up, “If not now, then when? None of us is promised tomorrow.”

Jim and I began seriously discussing our world travel dream and started researching it with a fury. We then made the commitment to ourselves to relinquish it as a dream and name it as an intention in 2006. When we declared to the Universe how serious we were; everything fell into alignment to make our travel vision a reality. Our property manager walked in and rented our home for the full 14 months of our journey. We negotiated and she allowed us to use one of our garages as our ‘storage.’ We even cashed in all of our frequent flier miles and greatly reduced the cost of our trip.

In December of 2006 we began the fulfillment of our huge life dream – to see the world NOW. Not to wait for some illustrious date of retirement when we may not have our health or enough finances. In fact, had we not sold stock from our retirement plan and used this to fund the majority of our travels –we would have lost it all when the economy dipped for the stock plummeted to nothing.

If you feel ready to make your dream your reality, then my Life Mapping Discovery Session is the best decision you can make for the New Year. This is a powerful learning experience which will clarify your current values and intentions. Together we create your action plan; look at what may get in your way in the process; and develop solid strategies for you to move skillfully around any perceived obstacles. I’m offering a tremendous value for anyone who enrolls in January, 2010 ($100.00 off of the 2 hour session and am including a free 30 minute follow-up coaching session as a bonus).
To book your session or to ask any questions, please call me at 858-384-2607.

Your dreams deserve your attention. They long to be fulfilled. If not in 2010, then WHEN?

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Posted by: Suzan | December 11, 2009

Want to Be Happy? Feel Grateful First.

To become happy, we must first become grateful. There is so much to be thankful for. If we take a few moments to look around us, how can we not feel this?

If we have our health, we have our wealth. We can be thankful for the magnificent machinery of our body –for our cells – for our hearts beating – for each breath. For the mysterious force which grants us life.

With our minds and creativity, we can express ourselves in the world. What pure pleasure to create, to think, to understand, to communicate, to share, to inspire, to encourage…..we have such abundance – do we realize it?

If we have our family and friends, we are truly blessed to be surrounded by this love. Many find it challenging during the holidays when we reflect on the loved ones we have lost. Having had many family members who have passed, including my parents, I do long for their presence. Yet I also feel gratitude in my heart for having had them in my life – for all of it, the pain and the joy. For so many lessons I carry forward.

If we take a few moments to look around us – there is beauty everywhere. In a flower, in a tree, in a butterfly, in a hummingbird – even in a leaf. If we take a few minutes to draw in nature’s boundless energy, it will restore us. For this too, we owe gratitude.

Whether we live in a home or an apartment, we can be thankful for our shelter. For a place to call our own. For the experiences we share in our sanctuaries – for our chance to decorate and create unique spaces. For the laughter which bounces off of our walls, releases our stress, and etches smile lines into our faces.

During the holidays in our frantic rush and concern over all the details, we may forget to be thankful for them. They bring us together. They remind us about community, celebration, and fun. In spite of the add-ons to our to-do lists, we have much to be grateful for. To gaze at the colorful holiday lights and to watch a bouncy child tear through her presents giggling with glee. To sit by the warm fire next to those so dear with hot cocoa or spiced cider – glory be!

I’ve learned to be grateful no matter what shows up. I write out what I’m grateful for every morning in my journal. One holiday season we had only recently moved into our temporary housing after the Cedar fires. Our home had burned, and we spent more than a year living elsewhere, rebuilding our home, and our lives. Yet now as I look around, I feel richly blessed. All things are new, all things are beautiful, all things we designed together as a couple. We had the chance to recreate our home into a masterpiece. Our initial pain brought forth so much to be thankful for. Like childbirth bringing forward an angel to love. Like the phoenix rising. We can be grateful for it all.

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Posted by: Suzan | December 4, 2009

From Frazzle to Dazzle – Spreading Holiday Cheer All Year

It is holiday time.
Salvation Army bells chime –
Trees adorn cars’ rooftops –
Advertisements overwhelm us – so many shops.

There is now postal mail.
Cards, gifts, and well-wishes pour in with no fail –
E-mails are cluttered with holiday letters –
Open up packages to find either socks or more sweaters.

The calendars fill with parties to celebrate.
Drinking and eating to excess and staying out late –
People are frantic running to and fro –
Not sure if we’ll make it to all the places we need to go.

Malls are filled to over capacity.
This is where we’ll all be –
Our hands grabbing for gifts hoping we’ve made the right choice –
Then running past Santa with his loud ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ voice.

Families decorating trees and homes alike.
Drinking eggnog or cider – some with a spike –
Adorned houses then twinkling with lights –
People in cars driving around to see all of the sights.

Fresh baked cookies scintillate the air.
Piles of gifts in closets await wrapping’s tender care-
Christmas DVD’s sit in a large stack –
Little Santa believers anxious for his visit and for what is in his large sack.

Holiday music filters through the air.
We hear it on the radio; in shops; in establishments – virtually, everywhere –
Non-profit mailings arrive in bulk to remind us about giving –
Messages permeate from many sources asking us to be compassionate, kind, and forgiving.

Airport lines extend around buildings and more.
People carry-on more items than ever before –
Traveling across country to be with friends or family –
Many wake up Christmas morning to sit together by the tree.

I don’t wish to replace Mr. Scrooge.
Though often at this time of year I seek some refuge –
To step back from the commercialization of this holiday –
And find my own way.

This time of year sparkles with magic, and I prefer to focus there.
On how we can build community and really learn to share –
I ponder on how I can be a better person year round –
Not saving it up for the month of December when giving is renowned.

Instead I slow down a bit this time of year.
I don’t say yes to every invitation of ‘cheer’ –
I don’t devour all the tasty delights laid out so fancifully –
I pause to think about what I’ll look and feel like if I eat all those scrumptious things in front of me.

I believe each day lends its reason –
To be honored in the same way we revere ‘the season.’
Let’s imagine a world where we extend kindness every chance –
Extend this holiday wonder all year, hold hands, and share this dance!

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Posted by: Suzan | November 21, 2009

Abundant Health is Your True Wealth

I weighed more in high school than I do now, and I’m 50 years old, 5’2 and 100 pounds. I remember how I spent my lunch money on chocolate, chunky bars and chips. Growing up in New Orleans with its decadent food, I often had three helpings at dinner. I’d even use my heavily buttered, French bread to soak up any remaining sauce on my plate. My exercise consisted of lifting my fork and knife numerous times.

When my nickname became ‘chunky’, I then understood the line, “You are what you eat.” I’d become the resemblance of my sweet treats. I felt so disgusted hiding out in my baggy clothes, and I hated the puffy face which stared back at me in the mirror.

I tried every diet plan available convinced the next one would be the sure winner. Yet nothing worked. In the end I had gained more weight. During this experience I succumbed to the eating disorder, bulimia, certain I could rid the calories by purging them. I’d consume enormous amounts of diet foods along with ‘bad foods’ which I’d sneak in between. I directed my life force toward keeping this vicious cycle in motion, to the detriment of my health and well-being.

One day I looked into the mirror after a binge-purge session and tears began rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t recognize her anymore. I dropped onto the cold, tiled floor; cried until I had nothing left; and prayed for deliverance from the poor choices I’d made. After awhile, I felt something lift. I weighed the same, yet I felt lighter. I looked in the mirror again and saw resolve shine through my eyes.

I drove to a sporting goods store and purchased running clothes and shoes. I bought a journal to write down everything I ate to stay aware. I threw out anything connected to dieting, subscribed to health magazines, purchased books on nutrition, and made a conscious choice to be my own advocate.

I realized diets do not work over the long-haul. Healthy eating is about being mindful of what I put into my mouth, and only eating when I’m hungry. It is about intentionally choosing foods which make me feel good like fresh vegetables, fruit, fish, and whole grains. It is also about eating slowly to honor the whole process of having a meal and, thus, I consume less. I drink a lot of water, and never have sodas – thus flushing out my system on a regular basis.

I sometimes splurge and have a special dessert when I’m out. Healthy eating is not about deprivation. It is about taking response-ability for one’s life by choosing foods which promote life force energy. Healthy eating is a mindful practice. Your health is your only true wealth. What can be more important than abundant health?

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Posted by: Suzan | November 13, 2009

To Overcome Fear, Dive Right In

A few months ago I learned how to swim. I’d been able to swim before with a mask and snorkel which is fine when in Hawaii or the Caribbean observing colorful fish. It isn’t desirable in a lap swimming pool with chlorine and other swimmers right behind you.

I’d never been interested in learning before. I thought, ‘Who wants to swim back and forth in endless repetition. I’d be bored out of my mind.”

Yet a ‘deeper’ reason had to do with being in the water or rather, having my head underneath it. As a young girl I remember roughhousing in a pool with my cousin, Rick, who was much like a brother to me. He got carried away with holding my head under the water while he talked to a friend. By the time he released me, I’d turned a slight tinge of blue and gasped for air as I choked for quite awhile. I think I almost drowned. All I know is I never wanted to put my face back into the water again – that is, without a breathing device like the snorkel and mask.

When I turned 50 this year I decided to celebrate by conquering my fear of the water. I enrolled in beginner swim lessons at the YMCA and joined many other adults who had their own versions of my story. The classes were one hour, twice a week, for four weeks. During the first couple of lessons my heart pounded so much I thought it would come through my chest. It seemed as if great white sharks aimed right for me each time I’d put my face in the water. I poked my head out of the water constantly desperate for breathe. Yet I kept on swimming. I never quit.

With the gentle guidance and encouragement of my swim instructors and my huge tenacity – I became a swimmer. Half-way through the first four weeks I advanced to the intermediate level. I then took another four week course to perfect my strokes. By the end of eight weeks, the fear no longer had its grip on me. In fact, I feel as if I’ve been swimming all my life.

I learned all I needed to do to get over this enormous fear I’ve had for most of my life was to swim right through it. By continually showing up and facing it, literally with my head IN the water, it gradually lost its hold on me. And now it has sunk to the very bottom – washed itself away from my core.

I even decided to give up running which I’ve done for 30 years and replaced it with activities like swimming which are so much kinder to the joints, and I burn even more calories during the process.

I can barely believe I’m one of the lap swimmers now. Back and forth and back and forth I glide. I never could have imagined myself doing this much less enjoying it. I’ve discovered swimming to be so meditative. My only thoughts are on my breath – it is the place I go to rest my mind and rejuvenate my body. It almost feels as if I’m in a womb swimming – it is like rebirth, and I’m so very grateful for my decision to release this fear – which turns out had all been an illusion anyway.

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Posted by: Suzan | November 9, 2009

Escape into the Desert Landscape

IMG_9146

Blair Valley, Borrego Springs, CA

Inspired by Camping Trip – Blair Valley, Borrego Springs, CA
11-6 – 11-8-09

What a view.
Feel the stillness.
Nothing to do –
Yet lean into this caress.

Carefree –
So much space to BE.
Rugged mountains ahead.
Nothing needs to be said.

The swirl of clouds enmeshed with patterns of light blue.
Cacti of various shapes and sizes reach out, stretch as they whisper, “Renew.”
As far as I can see is this desert land before me
Reminding me to “Allow.”
I can even release – “How?”

I’ll leave it here in this very sand
As I once again understand.
A brown, fuzzy tarantula creeps over to bid his hello
And his message is, “Be bigger my dear – let yourself grow.
Be as expansive as this desert terrain.
Let any desires for smallness remain.”

Look all around you and carry this vision home
Give yourself a much bigger playground
For your creativity and heart to roam!

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Posted by: Suzan | October 30, 2009

Honoring the Day of the Dead

As glowing, carved pumpkins greet you at the door,
And people open up their homes to anyone this one time of year,
With costumed children’s reach for candy – and then some more.
Let’s welcome in our ghosts and their precious memories. Let’s release our fear.
For the Day of the Dead is ever so near…..

According to Wikipedia, the Day of the Dead, El Día de los Muertos (or All Souls’ Day), is celebrated on November 1st and 2nd by Mexicans and all Latin Americans living in the United States and Canada. They honor their departed family and friends by praying for them and sharing precious memories with one another. They often build private alters for them with some of their favorite food and beverages or possessions from their time on Earth. They also visit their grave sites with these gifts.

Why not join in on this beautiful celebration? It gives us an opportunity to reconnect with those we’ve lost and to keep them alive forever in our hearts. Why would we want to banish memories of those who have meant so much to our lives? Take this time to recall your cherished ghosts from your past.

Reserve an area in your home to place candles and photographs of your loved ones who have past on. Spend some time alone and/or with your family and friends to reflect on how these dear souls impacted your lives. Share your stories (especially the humorous ones), thoughts, and feelings. By doing this you not only honor your loved ones who have gone on – you also deepen the bond you share with those who live on.

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