Posted by: Suzan | December 19, 2021

2022 – A Brand New YOU

The following eleven tips, from a confessed goal junkie, are highlights from more than 20 years of motivating clients and herself to achieve intentions:

  • VALUE THEM

–They must be in alignment with what you personally value most NOW or you will not be motivated to pursue them.

  • ALLOW THEM TO CHALLENGE YOU

–They must cause you to stretch and climb out of your comfort zones. When you feel a little uncomfortable that is a good sign!

  • BE FLEXIBLE

–Remember that your goals are not set in stone. Life happens and sometimes you may need to shift course. If that happens be gentle with yourself and make a course correction.

–If you find yourself avoiding a goal, it is OKAY to ask,

Is this what I really want? If it isn’t, give yourself permission to scratch it off the list and move on to what you really want.

  • OWN THEM

–Your goals are exactly that – YOURS. Do not make them the property of your family members or friends. Make sure they are yours.

Ask, Whom am I doing this for?

  • PACE YOURSELF

–Achieving a goal is like running a marathon. It is NOT a series of 100-yard sprints. If you approach them in that way, you will wear yourself out. Be gentle and patient with your progress. Accomplish it bit by bit and you CAN achieve it. An anonymous quote that I once read sums it up well, Yard by yard life is hard, inch by inch it’s a cinch!

  • BE DISCREET

–Be careful with whom you share your precious dreams and goals with. Naysayers will drag you down. Negative people and pessimistic thoughts will drain your energy. Surround yourself with positive people. Only share your dreams and goals with those you know you can trust.

  • PROTECT YOUR ENERGY

–Watch your self-talk and keep it positive. Fill your mind with encouraging words. Whenever you can, read uplifting materials and affirmations. Every time you make a decision ask, Does it take me closer to or further from my goal? (You might add, “Is it giving me or taking my energy?) And there is your answer!

  • REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT

Build your own support system. If you really want your goals, yet feel afraid, ask, Whom can I turn to or what can I do to support myself in taking a step toward this goal? Call a close friend or family member who understands and will listen. Find a support group. Hire a life and/or business coach to encourage and guide you. The hand that reaches out will ALWAYS be grasped by another. TRUST! If the fear of failure or rejection ever nudges you, reassure yourself with this beautiful message from nature (an anonymous quote I ran across), Use the talents you possess, the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best). (Also remember that the birds that sing best have spent years practicing)!

  • PERSIST

–It is your determination that achieves your goals – more than your talents! Review your goals daily (each morning when you wake up and each evening before you go to bed). Visualize the completed goal(s). Take the action(s) step by step. Imagine a 500 pound marshmallow stands in your way, eat it bite by bite – otherwise it is too much of a challenge to swallow. Ask, What am I waiting for? Reminder, This isn’t a dress rehearsal. This IS life. What are you waiting for?

  • STAY FOCUSED

–Be aware of the distractions that steer you off course. Have a plan to distract your ‘attraction to distraction.’ Then work your plan each day. Consider eliminating things from your life to create more space for your goals to flourish and then take action. (ie. Let’s imagine that your distraction is watching television. The hours you expend watching the tube could instead be spent creating what you want. What is it for YOU? How willing are you to have what you really want for your life?)

REWARD YOURSELF

–When you complete a goal – reward yourself with a treat (ie. schedule a massage, dinner out with a friend or buy concert tickets of your favorite group). Sing your own praises. Let everyone know!  (Now you can have chats with the naysayers). You deserve this recognition. Release the tendency to rush on to the ‘next thing.’ Take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments. Bask in the radiance of PURE JOY.

Posted by: Suzan | October 28, 2021

5 Simple Ways to Be More Grateful

Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

Did you wake up with a smile on your face grateful for another day? Instead did you grimace at the alarm, pound it a few times to sleep a bit more, and eventually drag yourself out of bed? You could change your alarm to ocean waves, a gentle rainfall, or some other soothing sound. Yet the bottom line is learning to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude” in how we live our lives.

When we appreciate ourselves, others, and what we have we attract others to us because they want to be near our positive energy. Think about it. Who do you most want to spend time with? What is it about this person that draws you to him/her?

The more thankful we are for ourselves, others, and situations exactly as they are (yes, even the challenging ones); the greater our capacity to receive (as in more to be grateful for). When we’re forever striving for something more, from material goods to even attributes, or for something to be different than it is, we’re no longer present to the joy right in front of us.

Being more grateful can positively impact our health and well-being. Gratitude has been described by researchers as a ‘natural antidepressant’. The effects of gratitude, when practiced daily can be almost the same as medications. It produces a feeling of long-lasting happiness and contentment, the physiological basis of which lies at the neurotransmitter level.

When we express gratitude and receive the same, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the two crucial neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions, and they make us feel ‘good’. They enhance our mood immediately, making us feel happy from the inside.

By consciously practicing gratitude everyday, we can help these neural pathways to strengthen themselves and ultimately create a permanent grateful and positive nature within ourselves.

https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/

So how does one become more grateful? Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Once a week either watch a sunrise, a sunset, or the stars at night. It is FREE and one of the most magnificent spectacles available.
  2. Write down 3 things you’re grateful for each day (e.g. your child/grandchild, spouse, pet, something you did for yourself or to help another, or something positive which happened. You decide).
  3. Start a gratitude journal. Each day, either in the morning when you wake up or at night before you go to bed, write ½ to 1 page about what you most appreciate.
  4. Write a love note on a sticky post-it for your significant other and place it on the bathroom mirror or the pillow on the bed or some other spot to surprise him/her. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. You can also write a love note and place it in your child’s/grandchild’s lunch box.
  5. When you see the Obituary column in the newspaper, select one at random to read. Think about how much this person would give to have one more day. Be grateful!

Posted by: Suzan | September 1, 2021

Fall for Change

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Nothing compares to the beauty of fall leaves changing their colors. From the magnificent hues of red, yellow, orange and dark burgundy of the Maple trees to the shimmering golden leaves on the Aspens. When their grand display is done, the leaves easily let go of the old to make room for the new. They do not cling and say, “I’m not ready for change.” They simply release.

Fall is a great time to contemplate change. Gandhi said it best, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” Essentially all we have within our power to change is ourselves. We may desperately want to see the things around us change, perhaps the pandemic, climate change, world strife, a myriad of things and/or people in our lives, yet we must begin with the person in our mirror. When we take full responsibility for our own lives, we can then impact real change in the world.

It’s funny there seems to be much resistance to change when it’s really the only thing we can count on. Greek Philosopher, Heraclitus stated, “Change is the only constant.”   “No man <woman> ever steps in the same river twice.” Just think about our bodies and how the human body replaces 330 billion cells daily. Within 80 to 100 days, 30 trillion will have replenished—the equivalent of a new you, according to Scientific American’s article, “Our Bodies Replace Billions of Cells Every Day (April 1, 2021).

What would you most like to change? What would your life be like if you were to change this?

What if making changes could be easier?

Psychology Today (January, 2017) offers five powerful ways to make changes that stick:

  1. Focus on the deeper WHY of what you want to change. For example, let’s say you’ve decided to release some of the extra pounds collected during Covid and you’re beginning an exercise program. Instead of focusing on how challenging this change is because you don’t even like going to the gym – try imagining the bigger picture. You will release stress and feel lighter. You will improve your immune system (very important with the pandemic). You will feel better about yourself and your confidence will expand. You may want to also come up with some creative ways to make exercise more appealing (exercise with a friend outdoors e.g. walking or hiking or meet a friend for weight training at the gym).
  2. Don’t label yourself a failure if you slip (it happens to all of us) – just look at it as “data.” So you miss a day at the gym this week – cut yourself some slack and go 3 times next week (put it in your calendar)!
  3. Every step matters. Honor your baby steps too! You may want to start with doing an exercise video at home before going to the gym. Even doing the research and reflecting on what’s right for you count as steps. What will motivate you? All of these are steps taking you in the right direction so honor them.
  4. Schedule the changes you want to make. Put them in your calendar (days to meet a friend for a walk). Let’s say you want to get up from your desk once an hour to stretch and move a bit (set an alarm or whatever works for you as a reminder).
  5. Find someone to help you with accountability. This could be a friend with a similar goal as you so you can exercise together, for example. You can also hire a coach to help you. When there is accountability, you will be more likely to make the change(s) you desire for your life. If I can help you as a life and expressive arts coach or you’d like more information, please let me know!
Posted by: Suzan | July 1, 2021

Got Gremlins in Your Way?

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

We all have them, that nagging voice inside of us that sometimes says things like, “You can’t do that. Who do you think you are?” Even though what they tell us is not true, they can be convincing. Gremlin talk can even stop us from pursuing our dreams.
 

Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, suggests it’s as if every day we have a choice before we get into our cars. We can either allow the gremlin to get in the front seat and drive our cars or we can insist it climb in the back seat as a passenger. We may need to co-exist with the gremlin yet we don’t need to hand over our car keys to him/her.

If you have gremlins in your way, I invite you to do the following art homework assignment for some relief.

  • First write in your journal (or on paper) what your gremlin typically says. If you aren’t clear about this, carry a small notebook around with you and jot down any negative self-talk for the next few days. The ones you repeat (patterns) are your gremlin’s language. This can be challenging to do, yet the more you get clear, the easier it is to spot the gremlin. Then you can quiet it down so you can create (whatever it is your heart desires).
  • Take out some crayons/colored pencils or markers and draw your gremlin. Keep this somewhere that you spend a lot of time (e.g. near your computer) so you can better recognize the gremlin when it shows up. Since you now know its language of limitations and put downs and what it looks like, you can readily affirm that this is NOT who you are.

It’s then much easier to send it away whenever you need a break. You can have it go on a hike, a long walk, or even an international plane trip, anything to give yourself a break. In these tranquil spaces you can reclaim your life purpose, creative expression and well-being.

Posted by: Suzan | November 17, 2020

Calm Your Inner-Critic So You Can Create

Do you long to start something new (a creative project; a sport; hobby; or work opportunity)? Do you hear that familiar voice, “What are you doing? You know you can’t do that. Who do you think you are?” It can stop us dead in our tracks and suck the joy right out of us.

The good news is you’re not alone. Having these internal voices aka: the inner-critic or gremlin, is a universal thing. We all experience it. What I’ve learned through research, offering playshops on the topic, and coaching clients for about 20 years is the inner-critic is terrified of change. He/she is so afraid of the unknown, of failure, of being disappointed or criticized, even of experiencing success. The inner-critic loves the status quo so beginning anything “new” is a sure trigger for him/her. The truth is our gremlins mean us no harm. They believe they are doing us a favor by saving us from rejection, failure, and disappointment.

There is a large cost to allowing the inner-critic to have its way. Our happiness. The following are some steps you can take to calm your inner-critic and honor your pursuit of happiness:

  1. First we need to accept that having an inner-critic is universal. You are not alone. The inner-critic lives with each one of us. We cannot banish him/her or any of their “distant cousins.” There are many versions (e.g. “comparison” gremlins or “not good enough” gremlins, etc.) so it may feel like a large family nagging away at us (albeit quietly–no one else can hear). Can you relate?
  2. Although we share our lives with gremlins, we can have a reprieve. We are always at choice in this matter! This is important to remember when we are starting something NEW. One helpful way I share with clients is to visualize your gremlin with a backpack on and send it off on a long hike (without a map). With practice you can later pack his/her bags and call the Uber for a send-off to the airport. Send him/her away on a long flight and a 2-week vacation in spite of Covid 19. Yes, the gremlin may return earlier than expected, yet how nice to have a break. Again, you are always in charge with how you respond to your negative internal chatter!
  3. Practice Presence as the Inner-Critic lives either in the past (focusing on what you “did”) or in the future (worried about what you “might do.”) He/she cannot survive in the present moment! The more you can remain present with mindful activities like meditation, receiving bodywork, and deep breathing exercises–you become more relaxed and can then effectively calm your inner-critic so you can create!
  4. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book Big Magic – Creative Living Beyond Fear suggests having a conversation with the inner-critic. He/she longs to feel heard by us. It might resemble something like, “Ms. Gremlin I hear you’re worried I’ll be embarrassed if I do this presentation and draw a blank during the middle of it.  I also know I’m well-practiced and will do fine. Thank you and I’m doing this presentation anyway.” Finally, she uses an analogy of a car. Knowing that the inner-critic is a permanent resident, it will likely be with us in the car too. We are at choice as to where we allow it to sit. Will it be the back seat or do we allow it in the driver’s seat?
  5. Here’s some suggested homework if you’d like to explore this concept more: Buy a small notebook to carry with you. Jot down anytime you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself for a few days or even a week. See if there’s a pattern (as in repetition). Later go back and rewrite the negative into positive. Practice noticing the inner-critic (awareness is fundamental), then speak back to it with kindness and firm resolve. Finally, reframe what it’s saying from the negative to the positive.

Remember the inner-critic chatters (that’s what it does), it is often not loving toward us, and it never tells the truth. You can choose what you want to believe and how you will react.

Posted by: Suzan | August 27, 2020

Sleep Well – It Can Make Your Day

What makes your day? If you’re anything like me, sleeping well the night before does. It shapes the energy I bring to all my activities, affects my mood, and even defines my level of productivity.

With the disturbing state of our world and the underlying anxiety you may be experiencing, either falling and/or returning to sleep could be more challenging. More than ever we need our precious sleep as a way to enhance our immune system.

According to The National Sleep Foundation, adults require 7-9 hours of sleep per night for optimal health and effectiveness. Operating on less than six hours of sleep a night on a consistent basis is like being drunk. It can affect one’s judgment, reaction time, mental alertness, and coordination.

Rob Stein of the Washington Post wrote that living in a 24-7 society deprives us of our sleep and ultimately, our health. Citing studies done by Harvard University, irregular sleep is being associated with obesity, and an increased risk for colon cancer, breast cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. “Lack of sleep disrupts every physiologic function in the body,” said Eve Van Cauter of the University of Chicago. “We have nothing in our biology that allows us to adapt to this behavior.”

Harvard’s Nurse’s Study, involving more than 82,000 nurses, found a relationship to increased risk of death among those who slept less than 6 hours per night during a week. To thrive, collapsing into a deep sleep for at least 7-9 hours on a regular basis is paramount.

If you’re having difficulty sleeping over a long-term basis and/or wake up feeling like you haven’t slept much at all, you might want to consider doing a sleep study. These are often done in a lab yet there is also portable equipment you can use at home to monitor this. You can check out Web M.D.’s information here: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/sleep-studies

Here are some tips from The National Sleep Foundation http://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-tools-tips/healthy-sleep-tips to help induce better sleep habits:

  • Establish consistent sleep and wake schedules, even on weekends
  • Create a regular, relaxing bedtime routine such as soaking in a hot bath or listening to a soothing meditation or to music.  Begin an hour or more before the time you expect to fall asleep.
  • Create a sleep-conducive environment that is dark, quiet, comfortable and cool. Ideally your bedroom temperature should be between 60-67 degrees Fahrenheit.
  • Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows.
  • Use your bedroom only for sleep and sex (keep “sleep stealers” out of the bedroom – avoid watching TV, using a computer or reading in bed). I admit I sometimes read in bed and it helps me to doze off….
  • Finish eating at least 2-3 hours before your regular bedtime.
  • Exercise regularly during the day or at least a few hours before bedtime.
  • Avoid caffeine and alcohol products close to bedtime and give up smoking.

Finally, having dealt with bouts of insomnia, I’ve personally experienced many ways to improve my sleep. Be sure to research this for yourself and make the best choices for your own body because everyone is different. Here are some ways to fall asleep (and stay asleep) which work best for me:

  • Since I’m extremely light sensitive I have black-out curtains. I also wear an eye mask. Also I’m sound sensitive so I wear earplugs to help block my husband’s snores or our neighbor playing his guitar.
  • Drink herbal tea a couple/few hours before bed. I prefer Chamomile.
  • Massage your feet with sesame oil.
  • Eat some nuts before bed (e.g. almond, Brazil nuts). Sometimes waking up in the middle of the night can be due to a blood sugar issue (which can involve the adrenal system and is more common with women in menopause).
  • Journal furiously. Unload your mind of anything which may be clogging it and keeping you awake. Do this late in the afternoon/early evening, not before bed. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back to sleep I do this then.
  • Sit in a massage chair if you have one for 15 – 30 minutes. Release all of your tension here. Alternatively you can put two tennis balls into an old sock or use a lacrosse ball as a roller to relieve stress in your shoulders, back, or anywhere else. You can do this on the floor or against a wall.
  • Count backwards from 100 slowly while focusing on your breath.
  • Practice yoga style breathing techniques. Breathe in for 4 counts; hold for 4 counts; and then exhale for 6 counts. Consider having a 1 word mantra to say over and over. Mine is So hum.(So is the sound of inhalation and Hum is exhalation – you could also say breathing in/breathing out and focus only on your breathe. So hum also means I am That in Hindi (e.g. I am one with the Universe and all of Creation). The use of a mantra can help divert the tangled thoughts competing for your attention.
  • My back/shoulder muscles are often taut. I lie on a heating pad before bedtime (for 15 minutes only) and it relaxes me.
  • Consider discussing adrenal support with your doctor. My naturopath creates a remedy for me to take twice daily. I also take Gemmo Ribes Nigrum by Unda. You may also want to look into your magnesium intake. Magnesium is calming and sometimes the reason people wake up in the middle of the night is due to a deficiency in magnesium. I take CALM (magnesium) daily.

When I cannot fall asleep which is rare nowadays, I take the following combination and within one hour am fast asleep:

  • Melatonin SR by Pure Encapsulations (2) and Life Seasons Rest ZZZ – Sleep Support (2). Please discuss this with your doctor first to see if it would be right for you.

Sleep well – It Can Make Your Day!

By: Suzan Tusson-McNeil, Expressive Arts Facilitator and Coach

Posted by: Suzan | April 18, 2020

Ode for the Sunflower from the Sun

 

93890207_10220126684891111_2606982150091702272_oAh yet another rain shower,

Prime time for flower power.

Time to shine and

Be kissed by the Divine.

Instead you whine.

Thoughts stuck on rewind.

Listening far too much to your mind

Whose nickname is ego.

You can’t seem to let go.

Stretching deeper into the soil

Creates toil.

Anchoring in the stronghold of a root,

Tuning out truth

For fear of (the sun).

Feeling no protection

You wilt, scorched.

Your leaves – torched.

You shrink away

Not wanting to stay.

Feeling so alone,

Forgotten, unknown.

Not realizing how you’ve grown.

As I (the sun) whisper…SHINE.

Like me you’re a mirror of the Divine.

Share your light.

You’re a beautiful sight.

You matter as much as me.

or a star, a sturdy mountain, a branch, or a tree.

Reach out with your brilliance.

Take that chance.

Life is a continual balance.

It’s a swirling dance.

Sometimes it’s too much and at others not enough.

In spite of life’s foibles which can sometimes be rough,

Know that you’re made from magical stuff.

You are so needed here.

Shine little sunflower for the strength of the Source is near.

You’re safe now – you can release your fear.

Suzan Tusson-McNeil Copyright 2020

Posted by: Suzan | March 28, 2020

How to Ride the Waves of the Coronavirus Tsunami

photography of man surfingThe Coronavirus – it’s like a Tsunami hit us overnight – we’re awash with change.

It all feels so bitter and strange.

My world feels upside down and

My happiness feels like a painted on clown.

Where do we go next? What do we do?

When everything is different – the ways are all new.

It’s like hiking paths unknown.

What we need to do is trust we will be shown.

frozen wave against sunlight

Lean in to the voice of Spirit.

The closer we are – we can hear it.

It’s time to have Faith as we’ve never known before.

These are turbulent times for sure.

Requiring our inner and outer strength to get through it

In order to  not lose our moor.

We must rely on our grit and our wit.

Come together even if it’s online.

Together we can heal this planet and shine

When we trust more in the power of the Divine.

Suzan Tusson-McNeil ©2020

 

Posted by: Suzan | March 17, 2020

The Only Way Out is IN

silhouette of a man on a rock

The Only Way Out is IN

The Only Way Out is IN,

Is this our newest universal lesson?

Our panting Earth needs to slow down to begin AGAIN.

To release our hardened views and open up to true Compassion.

Perhaps we were all far too busy,

Feeling life needs to satisfy “me.”

woman sitting while showing heart sign hands

Love is all there is

The Earth breathed a heavy sigh

as she wondered why

We can’t seem to get along

Pointing our fingers making everyone else wrong.

Then Mother Earth sobbed with her need for care.

Asking why respect for her precious beauty has become rare.

We only have one world.

Now it’s where the Covid 19 pandemic has unfurled.

We must distance from one another.

Feels like a baby taken from its mother.

Most businesses are closed.

Life as we’ve known it has too.

Yet in its place – what if our soul knows

we CAN meet this challenge anew.

When feeling trapped with nowhere to escape,

we can dig deeper in our hearts for our Super Person cape.

Move our outer focus more within.

Can we finally realize the only way out is in?

Suzan Tusson-McNeil ©2020

 

Posted by: Suzan | March 3, 2020

A Stranger is a Friend I have not Met

After filling my cart at the Dollar Store with items for the homeless, I could not find the end of the check-out line. It had wrapped past the cashiers, across the store, and then wound its way down an aisle. It could have been people buying up goods in anticipation of the Coronavirus. All I knew is I had a choice to leave or stay and be patient realizing at $1.00 per item, for me it is worth the wait. One person in line grumbled, yelled something at the clerk, and then abandoned her full cart in the line. We are all at choice.

I pulled up behind a 60ish year old Latina woman who immediately struck up a conversation.

“Why do you think the line is so long today?” she asked.

“I really don’t know but I need to get to the homeless club soon for my presentation.” I said.

“What are you doing for the homeless?” she asked.

I told her how I work for NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness, and share a message that recovery is possible with my personal story. NAMI runs a clubhouse for homeless with mental health conditions and I sometimes bring my inspirational message to them although not without a raffle bag. I’ve found this entices them to join me and then also to stay throughout the presentation. Each participant must be present at the end to receive the raffle bag (stock-filled with useful items like socks, water, food and more).

The lady I spoke with shared her name was Isabel. I learned she too has an affinity for the homeless and often prepares home cooked meals which she brings to different homeless groups.

Isabel leaned in and asked, “Do you get reimbursed for buying these items?”

“No. I do it because I care and it works.” I said.

“Allow me to buy them for you,” she said.

hands heart love

I felt my heart soften and open as tears glistened along my eyelids. So this is her paying it forward I thought. My love and respect for humanity had deepened with this unexpected loving gesture.

“Yes thank you so much. I’m so touched.” I shared.

As we approached the cashier, Isabel reached over and threw some more bags of food into my cart. “You don’t have enough for them, “she said with a big smile.

She walked in front of my cart and said to the cashier, “I’m paying for the items in this cart.” She handed the sales associate the cash.”

Then Isabel said, “I own some orchards and often have cases of fruit I need to share before they spoil. I now know I can bring them over to the homeless at NAMI’s clubhouse.”

All of this because I chose to stay in the line, not complain nor get lost staring at my phone. We never know where our conversations with strangers may lead. In my case to learn that there are no strangers. Only friends I have not met yet.

 

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