You’d like to spice up your significant relationship. Although you realize ebb and flow in a relationship is normal, sometimes it seems like your partnership is going out with the tide. You’re wondering what to do differently. How about learning to appreciate your partner in the way he/she desires?
Essentially there are three learning styles—visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. This is the way we assimilate information and everyone has a preferred way of taking it in. You can show how much you value your partner by finding out how he/she would most like to receive your support.
Jack Canfield in his book, The Success Principles, offers the following examples: Visual people like to see things. They want images, illustrations, and/or demonstrations. For example they would rather have cards, letters, a bright bouquet of flowers, a framed photo of the two of you, and a love note to place on the refrigerator.
Auditory people respond best when they are spoken to. They want to hear from you. For example he/she would enjoy listening to a recording you have made of his/her favorite songs, a spontaneous phone call sharing how much you care about him/her and/or sharing your gratitude in person in a private area.
Kinesthetic people want to feel and experience it. They respond to touch. For example they would choose things like back or foot massages, walking or hiking together, and/or going out dancing. Reaching over to hold his or her hand goes a long way.
So how do you know someone’s primary learning style? Many people are already aware and you can simply ask upfront. Your partner will be thankful for your interest. If he/she does not know, Jack Canfield suggests you ask them to recall a time in their lives when they felt most loved and describe it to you. “Was it something they said (auditory), did (visual), or the way they touched you (kinesthetic)?”
Learning to appreciate your partner in the way he/she prefers is certain to deepen your connection.