What if you could add a little spice to your relationship−no matter how long you’ve been together? How would it be to celebrate Valentine’s all year long?
Having been with my husband, Jim, for 21 years, I get how challenging it can be to keep things “interesting.” We’ve learned when we find ourselves falling into a rut of “what we’ve always done before” (e.g. going to the same restaurants) then our relationship needs a new spice, a little variation, just like a meal does, to bring out the flavor.
What helps us to celebrate Valentine’s all year long is having a strong community of friends. We don’t just rely on one another. My partner has his poker buddies, Padres season ticket holder friends, and the guys he goes on camping trips with. I go to dinner and the movies along with other fun events with my girlfriends. As a couple we often invite other friends over to join us for dinner. Being with friends is the spice of life.
Here are some ways to add some spice to your relationship and celebrate Valentines’ day all year long:
- Bored with the same meals – Create a romantic meal together: Select a new recipe to try for a savory meal. We just bought a One Pot and are enjoying learning how to make soups, lentils, and a lot more (it is a fast and slow cooker all in one). Make your meal together while sharing a bottle of wine, beer, or some other alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverage. Serve it in front of your fireplace if you have one. You can set up a temporary folding table next to it with a table cloth, flowers, and candles. Otherwise, go to a new part of your home, outside on the deck or lawn, or the formal dining table if you rarely visit it. Try something new!
- Do not spend all of your time with one another. Make time to be with your friends. When you come back together it is fun to share your experiences. Also, have friends over for dinner, brunch, or even a themed party evening (e.g. game or movie night). Being around others can spice up your conversations.
- Be more playful: Choose fun activities to do together. Expand your repertoire from what you normally do. Go on a picnic at the beach, a lake, or a park. Make sandcastles, toss a Frisbee, rent a rowboat, or go on a nature walk. Play cards and/or games (the loser buys the winner a treat – come up with some fun ideas). Take out some art supplies and paint or draw together. Spend the day at the zoo and feed the giraffes. Go to a nearby comedy club and have some good laughs. Get on your bikes and explore the area you live together. If you have snow then build snowmen, make snow angels, and take out your sleds.
- Finally, write a list of 10 or more activities that bring you Joy. Have your partner do the same and then compare notes. Highlight what you have in common on your lists and use this to choose fun activities to do together.
Couples who play together, stay together.
Wisdom Quest Arts and Coaching 